Balance

Over my 17 years of life, I've noticed that I have an extremely poor sense of balance. I think contributes to the fact that, truthfully, I'm not very athletic. I wish I were lithe and graceful, but I'm not. And I don't have masterful control of my body. Many can attest to the fact that they have seen me lose my balance while standing. Although that may have to do with the fact that tend to fidget a lot. I can't really stand still. But anyways...

The kind of balance I'm talking about here, is between different aspects of my life. Specifically, the balance between my girlfriend and my friend. I guess its the age old argument of bros before hoes, chicks before dicks (or the other way around), whatever you want to say.In the best case scenario, I would want to be able to balance commitment to my girlfriend and to my friends perfectly, but unfortunately, like many things in life, this isn't best case scenario.

I think that I'm not too horrible at it, but I could be a lot better. For example, today was the panoramic picture for our school. I hung out with my friends today before school cause my girlfriend couldn't hang out. I wanted to be able to be nearby to both my girlfriend and my friends. Me and the guys got in line for the picture and my girlfriend like appeared out of thin air, but she was talking to a close guy friend of hers so I didn't really want to interrupt, but I said hi. Then I was talking to my friends and all of the sudden, she walked away with some people and I was just like, fuck.

I was kind of worried on the way to lining up and I was wondering if I should just book it to be next to my girlfriend, but that seemed not chill to bail on my friends so I just stayed there. Then I was worried that my girlfriend would get mad. I was texted her and I was like "sorry =(" but she was just like "?". I said for not sitting next to her for the pic. She said she didn't really care. Did I care that she didn't care? I don't know. At least that leaves me off the hook, but then I didn't really have to worry in the first place. But like, it would have been nice to sit with her.

That's just one specific example of having a difficult time balancing girlfriend time and homie time. It happens a lot at school. But I think it's truly unavoidable, so I'll just have to do my best.