Expectations

I know that I have been neglecting this blog. And for that I am sorry. I've just been really busy. Not just the amount and length of things I've been having to do, but the importance of them. Like my focus and attention has been very channeled as of late, causing anything outside of my tunnel-vision to be ignored. However, I plan to make amends starting with the blog.

In my last post, I talked about my bad day, and at the end I promised that in my next post I would discuss the bad night I had on that same day. However, I've realized that my night really wasn't bad at all. It was just my attitude. We tried to plan something and it didn't work out, but we ended up doing something else. I was still with my homies it just wasn't how I had pictured it - and just a little less than ideal. But I was basically just bitching.

Thinking, I traced my angst back to my father. He is a very structured man bent on always having a plan and always being organized. I've realized that being raised by him has limited my ability to be spontaneous. I would really like to be spontaneous, I enjoy it, especially because this lovely lady whom I adore is a big fan of spontaneity. I wish I could be more spontaneous, and I try; I'm getting better, it's just tough. I guess that I just have a problem when things don't goes as planned or my expectations aren't met. It's just the way I was raised. But I've come to realize that that is the way of life - expectations not being met or plans falling through. and trying to deal with the situation that follows. So I plan to be a little better about it.

Life is all about rolling with the punches. Bad things, or even just things different than were expected, are going to happen. The only way to deal with it is to keep moving putting one foot in front of the other and deal with it.



I mean look at this guy. I bet he never expected to be ripped in half by a giant stapler but he is still grinning. Perhaps at the irony or hilarity of the situation? That's the kind of man I plan to be one day. Minus the part about being in half.

I've realized that in life, people place insurmountable amounts of influence into you. Especially your parents, but also friends and acquaintances. And it is your job to sort through everything anyone has ever given you and chose the aspects that you chose to live with. For example, from my dad I get charisma, anal-ism, and skills in debating. I choose to keep the charisma and skills in debating and rid myself of the anal-ism. Does that make sense? Maybe not. But to me it does.

In other news, I found $80 will looking through letters that my ex-girlfriend gave to me. I must have hid it in the envelope and then put the envelope away without knowing. Hm. It was a nice surprise I guess. I was looking through the letters trying to determine if I should just throw them all away. Still trying to decide. More on that later. Along with Valentine's Day. Etc.